quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
