Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I could make wine with my vomit
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize