I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
