we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
