Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
