he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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