Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
