I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
they need to just BURY HIM!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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