I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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