Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize