@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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