sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize