Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
