We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
