So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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