everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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