What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
