"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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