hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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