I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
