I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
