I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
They took my balls.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
