yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
