..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm just crazy horny about you
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
