The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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