So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
