You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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