Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize