she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Randomize
