your thong is hanging out like whoa
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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