Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
