I think I died a long time ago.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
