ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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