She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
