mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
