ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
