You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
