I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
