There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just had sex on a roof
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
