I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
