hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
