a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
