Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
These tits shall not be calmed
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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