My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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