Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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