The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
