you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize