i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
