I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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