Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
