Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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