Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
