you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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