Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
