So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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