ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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