You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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