Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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