kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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