Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
