the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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