Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
